Hanging on for something that you need to accept will never happen.

I’m a big believer in giving people the benefit of the doubt.

‘They are going through a lot’

‘Their mood hasn't been great at the moment, it’s understandable’

‘It’s fine he didn't reply for 3 days, he’s probably just really busy and we all know how we get’

‘He didn't say yes to doing something this weekend, but he didn't say no’

If any of the above phrases are you, you’re probably like me. I constantly search for the best in people, thinking I can get past the worst and ultimately they will change and magically be the person I think they are in my head.

The analysing of texts, wondering what will happen and trying to understand what this ‘might’ be, takes over my thoughts and brain.

I’ve hung around more times they I care to admit because ‘we had such a good connection’ or ‘he said he really wanted to hang out so I’m ready whenever he is free’ or ‘he just isn’t ready for a relationship right now but he will be at some point’.

All this, I’ve come to learnt the hard way, is not what you want. We can pretend that we are just as busy as they say they are but, ultimately, this behavour is toxic, a cop out and just prolonging the inevitable. Either he will stop replying or you will get yourself upset over something that you should have seen coming from the get go.

Now if you really are wanting a no strings attached, friends with benefits, pick me up when you fancy kind of deal then ignore this. But even I admit, I’ve said that a few times and it wasn’t until a friend recently called me out on it, and had a harsh but frank conversation with me, that I realised it was BS.

The truth is, there is never really a perfect or ideal time to get into a relationship, but I am a true believer that if you have a connection with someone and want a relationship, you should explore this no matter the situation.

A relationship should compliment your life, not take over it. It’s perfectly fine (and important) to have your life, be comfortable on your own and chase your goals and still search for that genuine connection in a relationship, where you bring out, support and encourage the best in each other.

Once you accept this, it helps you move on and search for that person who texts back, is clear with their intentions and the most important thing,

Wants to spend time with you, wants to be with you and wants you!

Sx